I just saw a hot homeless man
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
