Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
