Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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