He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
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