the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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