He kissed a someone with a penis
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
