Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
