Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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