Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
