sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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