not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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