He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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