Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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