Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
