You're so nebulous sometimes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
