I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize