8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
