It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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