ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
