K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
