So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
