its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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