So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
