he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
