i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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