That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
