Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there's paper in my vomit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
