just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
