Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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