singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
