If i come over, it means nothing
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
