i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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