i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize