Nicole vs. Life
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life