Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available

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  (562): hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available http://tfl.nu/v31e
  Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.

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  (412): thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out. http://tfl.nu/825u
  Replies (14) Good night (3753) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Perfectly normal.

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  (440): Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?" (1-440): Perfectly normal. http://tfl.nu/lsmy
  Replies (15) Good night (6704) Bad night (1218)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...

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  (404): Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash... http://tfl.nu/kodu
  Replies (10) Good night (981) Bad night (4872)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him

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  (310): I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him http://tfl.nu/a0ny
  Replies (14) Good night (4240) Bad night (1974)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress

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  (774): I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress http://tfl.nu/bwko
  Replies (6) Good night (2148) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb

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  (918): When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb http://tfl.nu/ycga
  Replies (3) Good night (1013) Bad night (2288)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.

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  (419): They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that. http://tfl.nu/gjrr
  Replies (11) Good night (4994) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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  (508): I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/6qay
  Replies (22) Good night (1627) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested

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  (914): Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested http://tfl.nu/5edf
  Replies (4) Good night (1904) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.

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  (647): I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing. http://tfl.nu/o75l
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.

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  (313): We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up. (313): Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals. http://tfl.nu/39hn
  Replies (7) Good night (1569) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.

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  (541): Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back. http://tfl.nu/a3bg
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.

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  (805): I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever. http://tfl.nu/ftkt
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me

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  (914): All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me http://tfl.nu/g4wr
  Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (346)

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