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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?

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• (415): View more from California

  the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u sound so gay right now

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ...that shit cray.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?

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• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!

  (708): View more from Illinois

  who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here

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• (736): View more from

  I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.

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