When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
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Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face