Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
