Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
