I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
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I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!