Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
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You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
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There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.