I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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