It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i barfeds in our rink
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
