I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize