So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we're so committed to being not committed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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