I wanna bring you to show and tell
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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