We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
