Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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