I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
