It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
