I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
