Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
