her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Randomize
