how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
