i was born a porn star she said
my being single is dangerous.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
