I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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