Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So many bounce houses so little time
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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