Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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