That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
too bad you live with your parents still
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
