Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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