Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
