Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
