If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
