You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
