The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
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I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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