I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
