When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
