Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize