There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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