cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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