But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
